Her own thoughts and reflections were habitually her best companions.

Live like you're dying, and never stop trying, is all you can do, use what have been given to you

2012-01-13T00:46:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum

Its 2012, yes it is. A new year is nothing much to me, time pass by and that just it. Everyday is a new determination, mission, plans and full of wonders. Hence, i dont need a different year, to remind myself that i need to make a resolution. I made a new resolution each day, well perhaps i use the same resolution each year and each day ( that explains why i dont bother to think of new one )

My resolution is as simple as this : CHANGE TO A BETTER PERSON. better in every way, ultimately as a better muslimah. I dare not put such high expectation to myself cause i am afraid that i end up being stress out. My idea is to take one step at a time, and InsyaAllah, my efforts will be rewarded in the HereAfter. Okay, truth is, its not easy as it sounds right?

Working towards a betterment of oneself is not easy. It takes courage to change your perception towards something that you thought you knew all this while, It take times to adapt your mind. Surely your mind will wonder what other people thinks. But one thing I learnt, it doesn't really matter what other people say or think, cause they are just passers - by. The sole idea that i have to engraved to myself is, if the change is towards a better and the right path, there is nothing wrong with it. In fact, i should be grateful that He has given me the chance to even have the thought of finding and exploring knowledge that i dont even know of, knowledge that make me a better Muslimah and person.

And i couldn't say how grateful I am, to be surrounded with people who is willing to accept the little changes within myself and respect my decisions.

O Allah, help me to remain Istiqamah in everything I do.

Spark of Bunga Api that my niece and nephew played during last raya

Have a good 2012 InsyaAllah :)

'Live like you're dying, and never stop trying, is all you can do, use what have been given to you' a lyric from a song,

2012-01-03T14:27:00.002+08:00

Subuh at Madinah,2011

There is something beautiful when all human beings were equal at one place, we are all the same in His eyes. On the contrary, we keep making big gaps and big holes to emphasized how i am more richer than you, how i am prettier and skinny than you, how i am cooler than you.

O Allah, i seek for forgiveness

2012-01-03T14:13:00.004+08:00

Touch Down
a memory from 2011

Little that we know

2011-12-19T20:39:00.001+08:00

Little that we know about the vast and endless knowledge of Allah almighty

Little that we know about what is actually happening in the world, in different continents, in different countries

Little that we know about the pain a mother go through during labour

Little that we know about what the politicians actually did to save our country and nation, or did they?

Little that we know about where does our money go after we spend lavishly on food, branded handbags and shoes

Little that we know about the real feeling and thought of another person that is standing across the other room, what is it in their mind? are they judging me? Or they don't bother at all, is it just me?

Little that we know about what Allah has planned for us

Little that we know about our future

But the one thing we know is we can work towards a better change

We can use the little knowledge we have to survive, to come out with a humble opinion

We can Decide to forgive or not forgive
To forget or not to forget
To move on or not to move on
To stay or keep running away

To those who think they know it all
Perhaps we don't know it all

2011-12-17T22:37:00.000+08:00

fearless and hopeful

2011-12-17T22:33:00.002+08:00

my face is the size of my palm

2011-12-17T22:22:00.001+08:00

my name is Tiger, but i've been missing for a long time

2011-12-17T22:17:00.000+08:00

my version of stop motion video but i dont know why it appears cracked :(

2011-12-17T22:12:00.000+08:00

What are you looking at?

2011-12-17T21:35:00.002+08:00

Can someone tell me, did blogger change their posting setting? :(

on the side note:

1. All praised to the One and Only, Allah Taala, i will be proceeding to 3rd year ( yes, the wait finally ends and i'm so relieved Alhamdulillah) i will be doing my clinical years at Sultanah Aminah Hospital, Johor Bahru. i think thats the furthest distance i ever been from home ( although i have experience of going for a Haiku Camp in Matto city, Japan all by myself when i was 12 but it was only for a week, more like a holiday so that doesnt count)3 years at JB sounds like forever but hehe i will try my best to go balik rumah as kerap as i can ( gedik )

2. Movie list: mission impossible and sherlock holmes

3. My sisters' reception went super well, but alas i have NO picture at all cause i barely have the time to grab my camera. My dear friend, Zaty hasn't post our preety pictures (yet)

4. I am ridiculously annoyed with how we mishandled ourselves in the 'cruel world of internet'. Its a reminder to myself too.

5. How does lidah lembu taste like? ( currently watching Masterchef Malaysia )

6. I hope people think of me in their dua InsyaAllah

2011-12-10T22:56:00.002+08:00

yesterday, my sister got married. Today, is the reception and tomorrow is another reception on her husband's side. So its a loooooooooonggggggggggg weekend for me. My legs are killing me, but i had fun meeting my friends that i havent meet for almost 2 years, some old and forever friends, D was there too and his friends. So i was juggling and talking like a machine to make sure that i treat everyone equally, i dont want to miss ( talking to ) every single person that came, if possible.

Alhamdulillah, everything went well, people keep coming non stop and the event was a bliss.

I didnt even take any picture, cause i couldnt even have the time to play with my camera, i was babysitting most of the time. It was my task for the reception. However, i do have a last minute picture with Datin Rosmah portrait( yeah lamee) at the Seri Endon Hall haha mmg dah takda keja.

on the side note, i swear i will not be wearing heels for more than 2 hours top. Tomorrow, for the wedding, i will definitely wear flats especially since i will be the pengapit. For those who know me, Can you believe that? haha my brother in law said thats my practice to be more lady-like, and feminine. ( ???) haha its tiring you know, smiling and nothing else. Ask the brides, they should know better cause thats what they did the whole day.

Pelamin-like with tropical theme for my sister's wedding tonight :) the fourth sister that get married and i feel even more like a baby sister. Congratulations to my sisters!

2011-12-07T23:51:00.006+08:00

Fly away

This picture was taken during my holiday in India at one of the biggest mosque in Old Town of Delhi i.e Old Delhi. It was really big and wide and there were many pigeons there.

I have some favourites pictures during my trip, but i havent process everything yet ( i went to India last December, can you tell how occupied i was with my small little world of medicine throughout the whole year, its sad really) Personally,I prefer to select few pictures that i feel worth sharing and i will make sure that its a different frame every time, not a similar frame cause that will be like, erm, you tell me. Its better to have the BEST few rather than hundreds of picture of the same thing/scene. That is just my humble opinion, different people has different mind.

Anyway, maybe i should spend a bit more time with my pictures. Just to remind myself that i can remain inspired with a single hobby, that is photography. Im still learning though. Looking and blogwalking over thousands of inspirational art made me feel envious, challenged, inspired, belonged, awed, suprised, understood; its a mix feeling but its a wonderful feeling

I havent been writing for a while; my grammar still sucks and my vocab seems, somehow, very limited. Just another internet junkie, that decided to write in a blog to improve her very average English. I should read more proper English article/book, not just the thick and abusive medical books ( despite that, i still find medical textbooks amusing to read during free time)

2011-12-07T23:50:00.000+08:00

somewhere in between

2011-12-07T22:41:00.002+08:00

pretty cool right?

you know how Tumblr is full with cool things from cool people

just strangers who wants to find a place they belong

2011-12-07T22:19:00.002+08:00

I know that i haven't been fair with this blog. Posting up just pictures doesnt give justice to it; given that this is supposedly be the place for real writing. But then again, it doesnt really matter anyway cause i reckoned not many people actually read an entire post, especially when its lengthy. And why do i think so? because i did that, most of the time.

Quick update

1. Been busy with my twin sister wedding, hanging around at home to help with what i can

2. Still anxiously waiting for my second year result.

3. Read ' When rainbows end' by Cecelia Ahern. Cheesy but i have to admit, the writing was funny. The line i remember most " Imagine you touching the vericose vein of that old guy!' The fun of a medical student, is when medical terms are used in jokes

4. Looking forward to meet some familiar faces during my sisters' wedding

5. Still wondering how famous people actually feel when all the highlights of their life becomes the talk of people that they dont even know.

6. Still figuring out how certain hijabis roll their shawl haha! its Interesting

2011-12-07T22:16:00.002+08:00

Brief moments, with the kids, at the old swing at home

Raya Haji 2011 :)

Nikon, D5000

2011-12-06T20:30:00.000+08:00

Sisterly love, Kamilia and Sabrina, Raya Haji 2011 :)

2011-12-06T13:58:00.001+08:00

Hellooo how are y'all doing? ( imagine me saying that with american country accent that you often see in tv) im writing this using my dear wildfire and if so happen i can get connected with any free wifi, i will post my crappy writing at my long abandoned blog.
Yes, i havent bought/had internet plan/3g for my phone cause i still think its costly for a student like me ( im saving my money for erm,shopping? Nahh maybe for a good lens for my nikon, or a fossil leather handbag that i wish to buy one day with my own money and so on, i have a long wish list you dont want to.know).

So far most.of the things i own like my handphone and bags and shoes, rent, fuel for cars, i paid using my allowance that i get from Mara, no addition from my parents ( most of it) and so far im proud that i can manage my money and still pamper myself with things i want and bought the things i need especially the expensive medical text books

Okay later its noon and im sleepy

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2011-12-05T21:55:00.000+08:00

2011-12-05T21:44:00.001+08:00

The Kids, Raya Haji 2011 :)

just one of those days that i grab my camera and feel inspired

2011-12-05T21:28:00.001+08:00

Raya Haji with Sabrina 2011

Well, im pretty much alive. Surrounded with endless love from the family. Will update when i feel like it :D

2011-10-16T22:29:00.003+08:00

Hye, its been a while, like it matters anyway. Of late, everything seems so fast that every second matters significantly. How i wish that it doesnt feel that way. Ouh well, exam is coming.

My throat dries so much, and the amount of water im taking worries me. I might be in a hyperglycemic state. =O I just hope im not diabetic. My sweet tooth are betraying my body, so i should start thinking of cutting down real sugars. Talking about medical student syndrome, yeah i'm having one.

despite the erratic hours of life, i have my family. The drive that i need.

Pagi, ku tenung

2011-10-05T08:24:00.001+08:00

Kadang kadang kita nak
Pastu kita taknak
Kemudiannya, kita tau benda tu salah
Tapi kita buat seakan tidak kisah
Tapi at the end of the say, u still understand that its wrong

O Allah kuatkan lah hatiku

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2011-10-01T22:22:00.001+08:00

Medial meniscus is commonly torn because of its attachment with the medial collateral ligament.

Medial meniscus ia c- shaped

Lateral meniscus is more to circular shape.

Well, friends, meniscus is at ur knee joint that helps to absorb shock. Imagine if your bones slides with other bones?

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Everything & everyone

2011-09-28T21:48:00.003+08:00

While waiting for the very (extremely) sluggish internet attaching my power point slides for tomorrow's PBL, here i am, feeling like writing (finally) Last weekend, i finally feel like im living my life, getting myself out to take a breather and simply, making friends with nature, after so long. During my school years, i love going outdoor, getting myself all sweaty , with no worries inside this very messy mind. Alhamdulillah, I was given the opportunity feeling like my (old) self. Jerangkang Waterfall, was beautiful and the water was so cool like the calm blue colour. Needless to say, being such a nerd ( worrying all the time) i bring my diabetes notes there, because unlike my other friends who went for the camping ( mostly from other courses), they dont have any classes in the coming week. MBBS has always been that odd.

Do you have this moment; when you feel like you want to do everything with everyone that knows you? or everyone that you know? I always feel like doing so, but being in reality, you just cant. I just cant but i wish I could. I couldnt split myself into three to be at three different places at one time. Isn't? Yeah, thats what i thought. Even how much we wish to entertain, to fullfill our self desire, or to say 'yes' to your friends when they ask you to join them for something, an event, a party, study groups; Sometimes, you just cant and said NO. If i said Yes to everything, would i be able to commit to it? I badly want to meet everyone whom i havent heard about so long, but sometimes, i just cant. Im not making excuses, but i just can't. I can't afford the time, the worries with regard to my studies, and the family that i always want to meet every weekend ( if possible ). Now, is peak time, i dont even have time for myself. There are times, that i feel sad, feeling left out, all alone knowing that your other (old) friends is moving on etc, but i guess thats how the world rolls and rolls and rolls. We just cant have everything, we simply have to be grateful. At least, try to be.

We move on, we stare at each other and smile to the people we care

Ouh the slides are attached now, goodbye.

//My favourite little earthlings <3 there are five of them now

2011-09-17T02:01:00.005+08:00

Assalamualaikum

taken by Lucy, a white Holga

How are you? Me? Im all good, i guess. Been sitting in front of the screen feeling one dimensional. Time went so quick, it is now four hours to morning. Did I tell you, that my partner in crime got us Lucy, a Holga. Now, my Luke has a friend. But Lucy is manual, with surprises and wait-and-see kind of attitude. So, Luke being more modern and automatic most of the time, has a companion who is a total opposite. I think they'll make a good couple.

Tired eyes, oily sour face, Go to sleep, So long

Her steps

2011-09-08T00:27:00.004+08:00

her steps bring her to where she is now

a happy place with love and laughter

a gloom place with tears and mourns

a place, where she learn and keep learning

a place, where she breathe

a place , where she lives

somewhere under the wide horizon

2011-09-07T09:35:00.004+08:00

May i see the things in front of me as they are, not as I think them to be

May I walk the steps ahead of me one at a time, not wondering if there's a map.

May I say the things that fix things, not break them further apart.

May I do what I need to do, not be distracted by what I can't.

May I dream of what I hope for, not of what I fear.

May I love you like I love you, not as any other, me.

- Ian Thomas, I wrote this for you

2011-09-01T21:01:00.003+08:00

ayah & ibu

Eidulfitri 2011

2011-09-01T20:53:00.000+08:00

ilyas, 2 y/o

2011-08-30T23:31:00.003+08:00

Assalamualaikum

Eid Mubarak

Maaf zahir dan batin.

There is no perfect word for forgiveness

But it comes with sincerity and modesty

Thats the beautiful part of it

2011-08-17T02:36:00.001+08:00

Z, T and R

good times, good food, good friends

2011-08-17T02:24:00.004+08:00

Assalamualaikum

For today, ive decided to write something on autoimmunity ( what a geeky sound of introduction. i know, i can be very pathetic sometimes)

So, basically Autoimmunity is when your immune system begins to attack your self. We have loss our tolerance ( the state of unresponsiveness to a specific antigen ) When this occurs, immune cells like T cells and B cells, will not be able to diffrentiate between what is self (ours) or what is non-self (not ours) Autoimmunity can be either organ specific or systemic specific & the effector mechanism can be either humoral( antibodies) or cell mediated ( macrophages, NK cells and dendritic cells)

Autoimmune disease can involve T cells:

a) Rheumatoid Arthritis

b) Insulin dependant diabetes mellitus

c) Hashimoto's thyroiditis

d) multiple sclerosis

It can also involve, antibodies like in Grave's disease, Myasthesia Gravis, Autoimmune haemolytic anaemia and Good Posture's syndrome

Immunity complex: like SLE

yeah, thats about it. Actually typing can be very tiring.

So long, goodbye

2011-08-14T13:33:00.002+08:00

myself, with my other half :)

2011-08-11T09:27:00.001+08:00

Days passed by slowly and there she was, stuck by the gravity, with a wondering mind. Thinking, and thinking and thinking. Everything seems static, but the clock still ticking and her heart is still beating like a mad woman looking for inspiration. Things has been hectic, like it always been but that one peculiar day, she fell down so hard that she got lost. Tangled in a mess of erratic time, with no ending forthcoming. She yearned for a space to breath, she need to go up high to the horizon and scream out loud without no one hearing.

But alas, she was still there, stuck at one point.

But still hopeful

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2011-08-03T00:19:00.003+08:00

what else can i say? Im blessed, my family too. Alhamdulillah :)

Welcome to the family adik to Ilyas and Amni ( my sister hasnt decide the name) there is a long list going on, but i think she will choose one.

Born on 1st August 2011, 1st Ramadan at 6.42 am

Now, aunty Ida is looking forward to meet u this weekend, with the rest of the kids as well, Amni, Ilyas, Sabrina and Kamilia :)

well, im just grateful and enjoying every minutes of

2011-07-27T22:31:00.000+08:00

Nabawi Mosque, during Subuh

2011-07-27T22:11:00.001+08:00

When everything else seem bad, look at the clouds and believe, that things going to be better, sooner or later. Good things, don't come easy.

taken thousands feet above the ground

2011-07-24T01:33:00.002+08:00

So, tomorrow i will be going back to hostel. That's heartbreaking :( i want to stay home with my parents, my family. Okay, now im exaggerating. Blimey. Maybe, the whole thing will turn around on Monday, where i will feel excited going back to hectic timetable. Sometimes, being occupied makes your life to have a sense of purpose, so the moment you go back home, it will become more priceless.

The last few days, I've been spending most of my time for my assignment, and Masterchef marathon. ( Ahh, i just love cooking show) Its better for me to get addict to TV shows now rather than later cause this monday, classes already begin.

Ok lah, seems like the only thing i love to write is about my studies. haha

goodnyte

2011-07-22T23:27:00.002+08:00

Makkah, 10 July 2011

2011-07-22T21:39:00.001+08:00

2011-07-19T01:48:00.001+08:00

black/white fireworks

2011-07-19T01:35:00.005+08:00

Assalamualaikum

Alhamdulillah, i completed the first phase of my APOW! (yeah,the acronym for Additional Piece of Work. For a moment, APOW reminds me of Kung Fu panda, it sounds like Apam to) Anyways, i am definitely quite relieved that i actually did something useful today, rather than delaying.

On the side note, i watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2. For the record, i cried. Haha It was an amazing movie :') I thought it was perfect.

this picture is interesting (source: tumblr)

Goodnyte World

2011-07-19T00:01:00.003+08:00

Assalamualaikum

Its saddens me whenever I've come to a realization that the holiday is coming to an end. Everything that starts, have to end. Life, ends with death. Holiday, ends when classes start. Silence, ends to a conversation. Its a definite fact but, a weak person like me is still trying to understand the reality.

After so many days, i finally open my laptop to continue my work. I've been procrastinating too much that i began to hate myself. What have become of me? I have one week time to initiate my momentum, before its too late.

Social networking is becoming less interesting each day. I passed by it once in a while but not as often that i used to. Perhaps, i'm slowly realizing that i have a better world to live in, that is the present, the people that are actually in front of my eyes, my actual environment. I do not wish to confine my world in front of the screen, while missing real interactions with real person.

But i think this blog will live

2011-07-14T16:43:00.000+08:00

Through the window

2011-07-14T03:54:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum

there is always that window of opportunities

//picture was taken during my trip at Colmar, years ago

2011-07-14T03:50:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum

Stone-cold fox Matthew Lewis who apparently plays the film’s doughy Neville Longbottom attends the New York premiere of ‘Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2’ at Avery Fisher Hall, Lincoln Center on July 11, 2011 in New York City

Can you believe that's the man who played as Neville Longbottom, with the rabbit teeth and plumpy features (when he was a kid). He is all grown up and yes, he is undeniably good looking. I still cant believe that's him

2011-07-14T03:20:00.007+08:00

Assalamualaikum

im thinking of putting a background music, with my new clean layout. Its 3.21 am in the morning, and im taking my time editing my very own version of flashcards for my assignment. yes, im doing my very own flashcards! yosh! Well, i have this assignment whereby we are basically allowed to do anything that is related to our studies. Its more of application, based on what we've learnt throughout one and a half year at monash. It can be anything. Videos, creating your very own PBL cases, singing, board games, cross words. Just something fun that we can help and relate to our studies. Last year, i saw the seniors did a monopoly board games and crosswords. Interesting. As for me, i decided to do something that is directly educational and medicine related. Hence, the flashcard. Afterall, i think having flashcards, with questions is good to recall the subjects that we have read. I pick the Anatomy of head and neck since its the latest thing i've learnt so far. And its a LOT.

On the side note, the senior suggested us to do something that is obviously medically related, to be on the safe side. (I suppose) So, im taking their advice

I decided to bring out my Luke, and took pictures of the anatomy models from the lab. Since i love photography, i intend to integrate it with my assignment; as the assignment is meant for us to have fun with whatever we are doing, i thought spending my time with my camera will be fun. (although my models are very still, so the picture are just okay)

here is a sneek preview. haha since i've put my copyright, i feel alright to put it here.

Well, simple je

i think i can have carpal tunnel syndrome. I can feel the numbness at my fingers

2011-06-29T21:45:00.000+08:00

from tumblr

2011-06-29T21:43:00.000+08:00

happy 21st bday fauziah :)

MED 2031

2011-06-29T21:33:00.003+08:00

Med 2031 has been fun. Its a sweet and sour ride. I love to learn new things, but to memorize everything is a difficult task. Because, you know that you can't know everything. But you can attempt to do so. I know i tried. I tried to cover as much in my studies cause i can't afford to skip a chapter and pretend that i've gone through it; because in exam papers, out of nowhere , weird questions will come out. yes, it has been happening a lot in Monash

i wanted to write more, i always wanted to do so but yeah, tahi tahi ayam

my toy

2011-06-25T23:59:00.001+08:00

The days in segamat, when stethoscope and talley's clinical book are our best friend. We practiced cvs examination in the hotel. No more segamat days after this.

I chose Seafoam green sthethoscope, pale and soft (the one in the middle) choosing the sthethoscope is like choosing your wand in Ollivender's store.(I think thats the character's name. My memory can sometime be unreliable)

Goodnyte :)

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2011-06-23T13:42:00.001+08:00

i either like something or not at all

2011-06-23T11:03:00.003+08:00

lets run away

away from the past

off you go

you got what you wish for

the good breakfast

2011-06-22T01:08:00.001+08:00

I know it isnt morning yet. And it is indeed too early to think of breakfast. Once i crave for something, i crave for it really badly. Roti canai telur with kuah sambal, is my definition for the perfect malaysian style breakfast. I hope my tummy will be filled with it tomorrow. But that just mean i have to wake up early to go out, somewhere to get the roti.
Well honestly, i have been craving for french toast for days now. Days. I keep thinking of making french toast. But, there it remains, in the mind; my mind.

I guess im just to boring and food keeps me happy. Always.

Alhamdulillah, that we can afford to have food.

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hye im sabrina

2011-06-22T00:24:00.001+08:00

Hye im sabrina and im very hyper. My aunty ida loves me so much. She always like to chase me around embah's house. She also like to comb and tie my hair cause i will look cuter when i have clean presentation.

Xxx

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2011-06-18T00:20:00.001+08:00

there are still people wondering where i am

im just laying low i suppose

2011-06-18T00:12:00.003+08:00

Assalamualaikum

i wish and keep wishing

its a self-drive that will never fade

as wish, shows will

except;

a wish can be very irrelevant to the reality

sometimes, perhaps, maybe

who knew

i dont

do you?

// i miss drawing.

2011-06-17T23:51:00.003+08:00

Assalamualaikum

i know that its been a while. so hello earthlings. My semester exam has ended and the holiday should have began, but here i am, on my hostel bed, spending two days at the campus and sunway pyramid. i couldn't fully taste the holiday mood yet, until i drive myself back home tomorrpw. InsyaAllah, all will be well. Home is always where the heart is.

//Observing the world, i can see cracks all over. May we all find inner strength to resist temptations, and to avoid wrong turn. It's scary how the 'wrong' is now being accepted as the 'norm'.

light, it lit the dark.

faith, it lit the heart

2011-06-14T16:16:00.001+08:00

2011-06-14T15:57:00.000+08:00

2011-06-14T15:53:00.001+08:00

2011-05-29T01:08:00.002+08:00

i have no idea what to write but im hungry. i am starting to become restless. exam on monday. though its not really an assessement but the pressure to meet expectations is killing me slowly. but this other part of me, says: whatever, i will just go there and do my best and just do anything that i know. Now, its the time to screw up

i'm juggling & struggling

not exaggerating

but i'll live

okay lets sleep, goodnyte :)

feeling pinky

2011-05-15T19:28:00.002+08:00

i feel pinky today!

maybe that explains my new layout. i used to detest those super girly pink, roxy type of pink. But now i'm okay with the colour pink.

i dont see the point of this 'pinky' post. yikes

hello?

2011-05-15T19:18:00.002+08:00

hello earthlings!

in case u've been wondering, im still alive and living and breathing and trying and coping.
that's a lot of 'and' in one sentence.

its 7.20 pm, i am now in one of the learning suites in building 3. Monash internet is super good and i decided to come by here for a while to download some notes and print the timetable. Unfortunately for me, the printer is not working so i just save it in my harddisc. i will print it later on at my hostel.

well, about 40 minutes ago i was just driving myself from home i.e Kajang. Home sweet home, cudnt feel any better right now :) and yes, i had my rural attachment for 2 weeks. Now, im just glad that i went through it well. However, realising the amount of assignments we have to do, and everthing is due in the same week, even my formative OSCE was in the same week! Week 13 is going to be a torture. BUT i shouldnt get myself tangled up worrying right? So, one step at a time.

Tuesday is public holiday, and i'm driving home, again. its a yey! home home home

At the end of the day

2011-04-30T01:03:00.003+08:00

Bismillah

while waiting for yuna; gadis semasa video to load

i just feel like writing. maybe not long, i am actually sleepy. I just want to listen to a song before dozing off into a deep sleep.

A lot of things happened lately. I cried, and laugh hard, and ponder and question, doubting, toughening myself, motivating myself, having fun with silly stuff as well as getting myself emotionally tangled with silly stuff too

sometimes, you feel like going through a circle. This emotional turmoil, it never seems to end eyh?

Nevertheless, im still writing here, optimistic.

Sometimes

1. You must confront with the elderly with what you are not comfortable with, to avoid further misunderstanding. Growing up is a challenge and i honestly am admitting that most of the time, i can be amazingly denial with reality. Its just me, i think.

2. There is always two sides, like the head and tail of a coin, like the front page and the last page of a book, like your right hand and your left hand. You have to look at both

3. trust is to be built. If you trust me, i trust you

4. We have to grow up, and choose what to care and what not to care. Ignorance is a bliss.

5. Always forgive and ask for forgiveness

6. Try not to be hard on yourself.

At the end of the day, that is just my humble opinion

At the end of the day, you are alone under the rain,

At the end of the day, there is that someone who cares

At the end of the day, what you think and feel about yourself matters most.

Screw the rest, i'd say

2011-04-29T22:14:00.001+08:00

this is a gorgeous picture

source: E!

2011-04-29T17:35:00.000+08:00

and that is the new Princess Kate

2011-04-29T16:22:00.002+08:00

there is that wide horizon waiting for us

it was the most beautiful sunset i've ever seen. thousands above the ground, in the plane. I was on my way up in the air to india that time, with my family. It was amazingly breathtaking and people hurriedly took their camera out, not missing the majestic moment. Its like a thin ribbon, thin line with 3 different spectrum

Subhanallah :)

under one tent

2011-04-21T22:03:00.000+08:00

and the family keep expanding. Alhamdulillah :)

cause they are just too adorable

2011-04-21T21:57:00.002+08:00

they are one of the many reasons why i always look forward for home.

by the way, this isnt my idea; asking the kids to lie down on the grass. I was holding my camera, calling sabrina, she ran towards me and she suddenly lie down on the grass and pose, getting ready for me to snap her. while she was on the grass, amni, ilyas and little kamilia come joining. It was so cute and adorable, i'm still laughing now. Kids, they are amazing. They inspire people like us. Just what i needed, inspiration.

from left: ilyas, kamilia, amni and sabrina

//loves

2011-04-14T00:59:00.005+08:00

i am officially broke. i crave a lot lately. A lot, seriously. Splurging money like a river, but only for food; fancy food and cookies. =/ guilty as charge

few more days for mid semester break :) can't wait! :)

//just more pictures from Tony Romas

honestly, after the second time i went for tony romas, i think Cozy corner in ampang has a better western cuisine, and the price is much more sensible than Tony's. But that is just my opinion.

2011-04-12T00:01:00.001+08:00

cause good times never ends

Burp

2011-04-11T23:30:00.001+08:00

tony romas, was as above.

:) good times.

i still need to practice my exposure

//thanks manissa for the picture

Ok lah!

2011-04-11T17:54:00.005+08:00

oklah. finished my mid sem test hours back. i dont know what to say. you know the feeling when you think you knew, but at the same time you dont know. like that, exactly. My eyes rolled in thinking the best answer.

I tried, but sometimes its frustrating to know that it doesnt seem to be enough. I guess thats the whole point of trying, it will only make you try more and harder. But sometimes, you reached your break point and you starting to quit on everything. Quitting your effort. But you know that you cant cause you know there is that future waiting for you.

Imagining myself with a robe, like the one in harry potter, a scroll and a smile with my parents by my side, proud faces. and, definitely a stethoscope around my neck. That future image, makes giving up the worst choice one could ever made and it will haunt you and break you down to pieces, regrets; it keep coming back. Im not saying that im quitting nor do i giving up but paramountly, im sure that all of us have this one day of thinking. CAN I ACTUALLY DO THIS?????? CAN I? you stare blankly to your face at the mirror, not sure of what the future holds, uncertain with all the hurdles, with all the challenges, questioning and questioning your capability and ability.

but at the end of the day, you have to persevere. It makes life much more meaningful when you work for something. It makes you closer to Allah, to yourself.

As for now, im exhausted. Im worried but im glad too. Hey, whats the worst thing that could happen? I shall gather up my courage and find a better way in trying. Better plan, better management. I shall not stop. This spirit within shall not fade. The future image, i described; I'll be there one day. Sooner or later. Time is not important, but i'll be there. Nobody said it was easy, nobody.

On a more happy note and non-reflective side, tonight im going to Tony Romas for birthdays celebration. Since its a very luxurious place we're eating, we decided its for the march,april, may, and june babies. All in one go. my tummy can't wait!

//whatever had happened and will happen, alhamdulillah :) things only happen for good reason. InsyaAllah.

Now, lets ease off and chill :D i should do that.

my luke, i've missed you. Malam ni dating okayh! hope to get good pictures!

restraint

2011-04-06T21:03:00.003+08:00

one of the hardest thing in life is restraining ourselves. Even from the simplest thing, simplest word. A complaint, silly ones. Restraining the weak self from saying bad about a person, though you may just disagree but you end up wanting to convince yourself that you're right. Restraining from wasting time, money & energy for all the wrong reasons.

Until, you found your quite moment and asked yourself. Where did the determination of being a better person went? Did it sank so deep into the ocean? Or it is still there but you pretended not to see it?

Istiqamah, its never easy.

Reminding self, reflecting & work towards betterment. That's where the effort should be channel.

InsyaAllah, I want to be a better person, as a whole.

None is perfect and its for a good reason.

To make us work towards improvement.

where do we go, nobody knows

//just some random thought

and doa for me. I'll be having my mid semester exam :)

2011-03-28T00:54:00.000+08:00

kidney-fied

pbl done. the slides. only. thats good enough eyyy?

2011-03-27T23:21:00.002+08:00

i havent been updating myself properly, maybe there is no need for it but i dont know, i want to write.

Went back home over the weekend, its one of the best weekend. Everyone is home! the kids, the sisters and my little brother-who is not that little. I finally managed to send my car for a wash, a good cheap wash of only nine ringgit. I know that i wont get that price if i were to wash it here in sunway. Went for a short trip to pasar malam at bangi as well, with my parents. We bought some fish, prawns for our seafood bbq dinner! its an annual event that we did when everyone is home.

on the side note, here is your kidney!

im in the middle of pbl when im writing this post. haha

later :)

2011-03-25T21:13:00.001+08:00

cause i am happy like that

my eyes, they looked tired. I was tired

balik rumah! yosh yosh

// picture credit to nabila

:)

2011-03-23T11:38:00.001+08:00

Im sure that everyone is aware of the spm results released today. That reminds me how anxious and restless i was. I couldnt sleep for week, thinking on whether ive done enough to achieve my target or not.

Good all days. I was blessed.

Its only the beginning but i think everyone deserve to celebrate :)

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i hope

2011-03-22T00:16:00.004+08:00

after a thousand snap of my lens, this is by far, i think, my most majestic scene. i was in the car from putrajaya, with my girlfriends. It almost rain that day, but peculiary it didnt. It was dark, but wasnt that dark. You can see the sun shining through the cloud.

like light shining through darkness

like hope, showing you the way

it was memorable and beautiful. It was exceptional.

i wonder when can i see the sky so beautiful again. soon, i hope.

// the sky is already that beautiful, i dont do editing.

step by step

2011-03-22T00:07:00.003+08:00

in whatever you do, steps need to be taken.

one by one.

step by step.

you'll be there

eventually

2011-03-20T20:29:00.000+08:00

what are you looking at?

2011-03-20T12:44:00.001+08:00

honestly, most of the time im just upset and mad with myself

im sorry

i can still save my day. i'll find more productive things to do

goodbye. im just self conflicting

blank like the wall

2011-03-20T09:12:00.003+08:00

when im bored with nothing to do, i took a blank picture

then, i took my picture, it was blank too.

i realized that i have better things to do. (blimey, work that ass of lah wahida)

good morning

finding my mood to study =.=

the stairs

2011-03-19T23:32:00.001+08:00

the stair and shoes

like different people at different level

but still on the same place

the stair

my dreams remind me of an ocean

2011-03-19T19:36:00.001+08:00

More of them

2011-03-19T19:16:00.003+08:00

(this was taken by my fren's little brother)

at Penang Botanical Garden

If you notice, its the monkeys, on the tree.

Batu Feringghi Night market

Zubaidah, with the beautiful lanterns

i love turquoise

my first ever photo in a dressing room (lame lame)

and me, with my happy face (i think) credit to zubet!

Pictures from my penang trip. I have loads of photos, 'marinated' in folders. haha

Hope to find more time with my Luke :) i.e my nikon

throwing

2011-03-19T16:14:00.004+08:00

never throw your judgement randomly, consider more observations.

put aside denial, cause there is a reason for the existence of fact. It teaches you to accept and embrace. That's the task. Its never easy, its a constant thing that goes up and down. but always, remind yourself cause you'll be the best reminder, and you know that sometimes, you dont actually listen to what others say. In the end, it always you.

just a piece of my mind that is already messed up

sometimes, i lost it. i need a remote control with the button 'patience'

i think we all need one

2011-03-19T13:45:00.001+08:00

“I want out of the labels. I don’t want my whole life crammed into a single word. A story. I want to find something else, unknowable, some place to be that’s not on the map. A real adventure. A spinx. A mystery. A blank. Unknown. Undefined.”
—
Chuck Palahnuik

2011-03-19T11:55:00.001+08:00

Annotated bibliography down. More to come

i want to write, yes i do but for now my stomach is grumbling really loud and i shall adress that first.

im seriously nervous with Dr N, she's strict

2011-03-19T11:54:00.000+08:00

i think im living under a coconut tree waiting for a coconut to hit my head. wait do coconut fall from the tree? i need a life. pronto. post-syndrome after going to random blogs. at least, they have a life. wait, i shouldnt complaint. I should just live the way my life is right now. Yeah, thats 'the' life. Embrace it.

strawberries

2011-03-18T23:16:00.002+08:00

ive been craving for strawberries for few days now. Maybe more, i dont know. I really like to eat this lovely fruit with chocolate. I would say its almost like heaven. Almost like. and i would say heaven on earth. I want strawberries. Pretty please.

Just today, I read a surprised comment left by anonymous. He/she makes me feel inspired and appreciated. Its just one of those day, that you feel good about yourself. You know? i am feeling good about myself now. :)

there is so many thing happening and we'll go there step by step.

2011-03-14T12:40:00.001+08:00

Bismillah.

Im tired and im sleepy but im okay.
Alhamdulillah Allah for everything
Protect us and bless us
Sesungguhnya kau lah yg maha kuasa

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2011-03-10T12:07:00.001+08:00

Hungry

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2011-03-08T10:51:00.002+08:00

firstly, week one was beyond hectic, but for some reason, i can still afford sleeping early, around 11 (i think that is still consider early). I'm just so tired and i cant see the point reading with my eyes half closed. I just cant resist the bed. I'm freaking exhausted. Working the brain, from 8am to 6pm killed my brain cells for the night. I need to gear up though, and find energy. Blargh This is so boring, talking about how things are/were. It is as it is. Right?

No real update, just crazy timetable & energy-deprived, but not sleep deprived (yet) i really hate myself when i tend(with intention or without intention) to sleep early.

shoot me now.

2011-02-28T00:30:00.000+08:00

cause baby you're a fire work

Penakut

2011-02-27T23:57:00.004+08:00

tak semua yg kau rancang akan berlaku, mungkin nasib tak menyebelahi aku.

you know whats funny about love songs, its very subjective.

When it comes to song, i will look for rhythm & the story behind it, stories that i can relate with myself, my past, my present, my hope or simply, other people stories that i can feel for.

Its like a movie, but without film

& its not always about me. So, hold any assumption that is threading in your mind

pretty much the same

2011-02-27T23:27:00.001+08:00

i drew this for my niece, using drawing pad for ipad. It was fun. I miss to doodle and draw. But im not good at it. i've seen & knew so many people with great talent.

We end up pretty much the same aren't we?

it is as it is

2011-02-27T23:19:00.002+08:00

its a very slow night. i've been asking myself to read & to prepare for my class tomorrow but i feel that its not enough. I feel lacking. Maybe its just the first day anxiety. yes, that must be it. I think i should go to sleep. I must not sleep late cause tomorrow gonna be a long day. There are too many errands need to be done. Have you ever wished that we could have more time? But have you ever thought to yourself that time & space is always there but its your decision how to make use of it. I should really try to look at something from different spectrum, different perspective.

I'm tired

I hope for a better tomorrow. InshaAllah.

Ouh Dear Allah, guide me with your knowledge, light me.